This Is Progress.


On October 12 in The MVP Dublin 8, I’m running a new comedy night. It’s been almost three years since I last attempted to run a comedy night. Here are a couple of reasons why I stopped doing them:

1. Lying sacks of shit.

When I started comedy I was a lot more naive and trusting. I also didn’t tell anyone I was doing it. Word got out over time. Friends and Family would tell me they would love to see me perform in person.  A couple of local lads and myself put on a show in town. Loads of people showed up but also loads didn’t.

When I saw them again there were lame excuses for why they didn’t go (My dog was sick, It was raining, my mom died etc.) and then they said they would go to the next one. Trusting them I put on another show and they still didn’t come. When I saw them again they made more excuses and promises of coming to the next show. I told them to shove it and that the next show would be in my ass. Probably why my Granny doesn’t talk to me anymore.



This is from our Second Tullamore show in 2011. Gerry McBride and I are the only ones still doing stand up.

2. Lying sacks of shit.

After Tullamore fizzled out, I targeted Mullingar next. Famous for is the statute of minorly successful local singer Joe Dolan.

I sent an e-mail the event manager of one of the local bars. He responded straight away to set up a meeting. The meeting went great. We chatted for over an hour about our ideas and goals for the night. He asks me to book the first three months of acts in advance, so he could take out ads in the paper and get posters up to establish the comedy night as a regular thing. The bar would handle all promotional costs and I won’t be charged for the room or any costs like microphones, sound guy etc. I would keep the ticket money to pay the acts.

I went home and booked the acts for February, March, and April. I sent information & pictures on all the acts to the Event manager, let’s call him Steve and he took over from there.

A couple of weeks before the show I yet to see any promotion done, not even a mention on the pub’s social media. I was in contact with Steve and he said it would be sorted soon and that he didn’t have access to their social media. This should have been a warning to me. How the hell does the event manager not have access to the social media account? But I didn’t take notice at the time and trusted him.

The next day I got a call from Steve saying that I was now going to be charged for using the room, the equipment, and a sound engineer. It was going to cost me 500 euro and 10 percent of my ticket sales. Even Naive Johnny could tell something was wrong here. I ask him to e-mail an invoice for the costs straight away. I planned on printing e-mail off and bringing it to the owner of the bar.

Next day I get an e-mail from Steve saying he had stepped down as the event manager.
I went to the owner of the bar, a very nice old man, let’s call him Jack. He had let Steve take over booking and running events as he no interest in doing them anymore. But Steve had no real control over money or promotional matters. It seems Steve was trying to get money off acts and hope Jack won’t find out but it appeared someone else had brought it to Jack’s attention and Steve ran off before anything could be done about it.

I was left with two weeks before the first show, no promotion done and Jack won’t offer any financial support. I was crushed. But I had a show to put on and in a couple of days got the posters done and put them up around town myself. I Contacted the local radio and newspaper’s to get some free plugs. Doing what I could on Social media to get the word out.

In the end, we got a good crowd in for the first show. The second was a failure and the third was a nice send-off for the night.


Our second Mullingar show. Neil now writes plays. FJ works with Men’s mental health groups. Donal is on the verge of becoming a comedy superstar. Gary is the king of Edinburgh every year.

It wasn’t all bad. From the Tullamore shows it was great that my Mother came out to watch me. This is a woman who the only way to get her out of the house is probably by setting the house on fire. My Nephew even got on a stage and told a joke. Yes he was funnier then me.

From the Mullingar shows Alison Spittle mother having a go at one of the comideans for asking her a question. Paying Al Porter 5 euro for doing the show. Which he was very gratefull for at the time. I might have to put a few zero’s on the fiver if I was going to book him now.

One more time I’m putting on a show. MVP Bar Dublin 8. Doors open at 9 and the show is at 9.30 pm. October 12.

We have the wonderful Richie Bree fresh off winning the Laughter Lounge new act competition. Plus Pauline Shannon & Ashlee Bentley both regulars at the comedy festival circuit and hot newcomer Terry Norman.  I will be your MC because I’m willing to work for free.


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