Social-Media Springboard Elbow Drop.

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I’ve had no success on social media and that’s probably one of the reasons why I didn’t set up a”John Sheehan- Comedian” page that’s only going to be liked by other comedians and my first & third cousins. My second cousins hate me for so many reasons.

So I wrote 448 words about what annoys me about stand up’s on Social Media (Mostly Facebook, as I don’t get twitter and Instagram scares me.)

Profile Picture.

You’re probably using Facebook to contact most promoters. If no one knows who you are, your profile picture will be their first introduction to you.

Ideally, it should be one of you standing on stage with a microphone at a comedy club. Avoid making a dog, baby or a screen shot of your favorite sci-fi character.

It’s unlikely most promoters would want to book Yoda to do 5 minutes in their club.
Also, Yoda won’t be any good at the pull and reveal jokes “On the bus naked, I was.”

One of those page pricks.

I recently cleared my Likes/Friends list on Facebook. This wasn’t some moment of me becoming a different person and leaving my past behind. I was terminally bored and already deleted all my e-mails, emptied my recycle bin and organized my porn into secret folders.

The thing I came across the most (I’m not talking about my secret folders) was all the dead comedian pages. I don’t mean a bunch of stand-ups who have died (even though most of them did when there were on stage…am I right…high five me…you better have high fived me.)

I mean the people who have stopped doing stand up and their page is still there like some sort of headstone to their shitty six months run at comedy.

So if you’re going to do it do it right. Even the pages that are still going by comedians who are still active might as well be dead. Having a list of your upcoming gigs from six months ago really shows how much effort you’re putting into it.

You should be updating it with clips, jokes anything you can think of.
Hell, pay the 2 euro a week to Facebook to get it out there to more people.

The thing that blows my rage meter.

I’ve seen this over and over again. Someone starts doing comedy and they update their facebook job profile to “Works at comedy”.  You’re doing unpaid open spots. If comedy is your job you’re going to starve and be homeless in a week.

The thinking is “If I say I’m working at comedy people will take me more seriously.”
But you look like a knob and not a nice one. One those crusty, hairy cocks that no one could love. Sorry if you have one of those.

That’s all for now. Contact me on Twitter on @SlumberingJ. I be back soon I promise.