Edinburgh: Mistakes & Milkshakes Part 2


Generic picture of the Edinburgh fringe crowd.

In part 1: I covered my mistakes and offered advice before heading over to the Edinburgh Fringe Festival in 2014.

Part 2 will cover all the mistakes I made when I got there.

~Arrive early if you can:

With the price of everything so high in Edinburgh, it can make money sense not to get there until the day of your show. But arriving even one day early will allow you to get set up and figure out all the logistics that need to be done.

Like where is the nearest Tesco so I can dump all my coins from my bucket money into the self-service machine, to avoid dirty looks from the cashier when I pay for my sandwich using only 10p coins.

I arrived the day of my first show. My flight got delayed which meant I got the there with only a few hours before the start of the show. My flyers were sent to the wrong place to further add to the panic. My first show didn’t go well. This has nothing to do with me arriving late. I Just thought I mention it.

Bring another human being with you

Some of you may have these things called “friends”. If you have any them over there with you kindly ask them to watch the door for you. Chances are you be busy flyering before the show to do it yourself.

If you have someone just even holding the door guiding people in and letting them know the show on here. It’s such a help and at the end, they can hold the bucket for you so those sneaky bastards don’t get out without paying before you come off the stage.

Sadly I didn’t have this going over. My best friend at the time (Who was a stand up as well) was going over with his own show too. We planned to help each other out and even run a compilation show together. But a few months beforehand we had a massive falling out.

If we both still ran it, it would lead to pointless fighting, arguing in front of others and heavy drinking or what we call Christmas in Ireland.

~Start/Finish on time

This wasn’t a problem for me. But the show before me did have issues with keeping time. 

It’s was bad enough they went over their time but it was made worse by them deciding to stay around the stage, chat about how great the show was and then there mates would come over and they have a big chat about it. I had enough one day and while on stage doing Mic check I told them all to clear out.

They looked shocked that I said it. But they were 5 minutes over there time and another 10 of them just standing beside the stage chatting. The women running the show apologised and said they would try to stick to their time.
Spoiler: they didn’t.

Also if the previous show overruns it doesn’t mean you should too. It sucks to lose 5/10 minute of your show due to previous act’s ruddiness but you have to think of the people in the next show. 

Slut it up

With doing my own show and now having to run the compilation show by myself I only did a couple of guest spots.

Looking back I wish done more. Get as many guest spots as you can. Not only is it good in terms of getting more stage time as but it can help getting more people to your show especially if you flyer them on the way out.

Bucket speech

I’ve seen a lot of bucket speeches (For those that don’t know at the end of the “free” show the act will ask for donations from the audience to be dropped into a bucket on the way out.)

I saw one’s where I know the act lied, X-Factor sob story wise, just to get  more money. Another act got aggressive about how much people should put money in.
A lot were too shy and embarrassed to ask for anything.

I found it best, to be Honest. Most people know how expensive it is to run a show and just ask nicely to put something in. If your shows good and people like it you won’t have a problem collecting money.

Do drink, drugs and have unprotected sex.

I read/listen to a lot these advice pieces about Edinburgh. There always end with boring advice about being eating healthy, don’t drink and get plenty of sleep.
Who the hell am I to tell you what to do. Go drink as much as you want, eat shit and get genital warts. Just be there when you’re supposed to and be funny.